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by BlueRose on 2005 Jul 11 - 12:32 | reply to this comment
Body Language
Like many (or most) sexually submissive women, I absolutely hate being on top during sex. That is the very opposite of male dominnce from my view. If a man cannot dominate me in bed, then he sure as heck is not going to be able to dominate me anywhere else.

There is an intimate and undeniable connection between the body and the emotions. This is why our emotions get expressed in physical gestures; but conversely, it also means that certain physical postures will bring up certain correlated emotions. There are inevitable dominance/submission aspects associated with one person's body being on top of another person's body, and with the person on top effectively pinning the bottom person down with their weight, and also being in a position to exert more control. It is obvious in any wrestling match that the guy on top is the dominant one, the one who's winning; and it should be just as obvious with regard to sex.

It's certainly obvious to animals of other species, because it's a common biological gesture of dominance (between two competing males, for instance) for the dominant alpha male to mount the subordinate male and reinforce the hierarchy by showing who's on top and who's on bottom. The dominance of the top position is also obvious to guys in prison, who are lacking for female companionship. And it's certainly obvious to various indignant feminist authors, who have turned the mythical figure of Lilith (Adam's first wife, before Eve) into a feminist heroine, because she refused to take the bottom position during sex. The innate psychological correlation between top/dominant and bottom/submissive is just one aspect of body language, but it's a very basic and powerful one, even an instinctual one.

To claim that it's not obvious, or that it's all in our imaginations, is to engage in a denial of our basic instinctive makeup. There have been a number of studies done on much subtler forms of posture, physical positions and body language, that have confirmed just how influential such things are in determining our emotional responses. For just one example, I believe there have been a number of studies confirming that people are naturally wired to regard someone who is taller as being more dominant. That's not because we perform some conscious analysis of the potential implications of their greater size; it's just a purely instinctive emotional response to having someone looming over you.

If that's the case for even such a relatively minor matter of physical positioning (someone being half a head taller or so), then it's easy to understand how the act of someone being physically on top of you and pinning you down with their weight is intuitively and emotionally understood